The Post From A Pedagophobic

Google says I'm suffering from PEDAGOPHOBIA, which is the fear of teachers. That's the only fear I've ever had.
But that wouldn't stop me from publishing this post :P


Here is a collection of some funny dialogues by teachers. They are not just made-up jokes. They actually happened! 

• Tomorrow will submit your assignments.

  
  
• Another dialogue by the same teacher

  Tomorrow will complete your notebooks.

  Whoever this guy/gal Tomorrow is, (s)he sure is a hard-working, selfless person and obviously the teacher's pet!
• Whenever she doesn't know the answer to the doubt we ask, this teacher says

   You needn't think so much!

• Teacher was drawing a diagram on the board.Our class topper interrupted

  Student: Ma'am, this figure is different from that given in our prescribed textbooks...
  Teacher: Don't look at that figure. Look at my figure.

  Did I mention she had a perfect figure?...like a beer barrel

• Tomorrow I will be conducting a surprise test for you on the topic Photosynthesis.

  Whoa! It sure did surprise us and we loved it! Expecting more 'surprises'...
• One of my project-group mate was running errands and bringing us connection wires, IC etc. for the purpose of project

  Teacher to her: So, you're carrying, aren't you?

  This girl stood there dumbstruck for a moment.

  Student: Ma'am... But......
  Teacher: I see you're carrying every components and supplying it to your group.

  So that's what you meant by "you're carrying". Gross! And FYI... This girl is not pregnant!
• I've received this dialogue in a funny sms some time back, but never believed any teacher would say like that. One teacher actually did!
  Teacher shouts to the student who littered through the class window:

  Put is put. No more put.

  Hard to explain... no words...
  
• Instead of asking "Did you understand?" or "Have you understood?" this teacher always asks

  Are you understood?

  No sir, I'm Anagha :P
• The same teacher has another problem.
  He explained the topic. But a girl student named Anna looked confused.

  Hello Mr Anna, are you understood?

  At first I thought he was kidding, but no, he was damn serious!
• There was this Mathematics teacher who covered up almost entire part of the blackboard while writing on it. Her writings and drawings were hardly recognizable and while explaining, she mostly used "this" or "that" instead of unknown variables (e.g. a, x), names of line segments or polynomials (e.g. AB, PQRS). So we hardly understood what she was talking about.
  One day, she was explaining some theorem that she scribbled on the board. As usual, we couldn't understand or at least see what's she's talking about.
  Teacher was pointing to something she scribbled on the board trying to explain how the theorem was proved by her.

  Teacher: THIS plus THIS is equal to THIS. Also, THIS plus THIS is equal to THIS. So... obviously, THIS plus THIS is equal to......?

  and she turned to us to get an answer. Everyone were minding their own business. I had a sudden whim to reply to this

  Me (pointing vaguely in the direction of the blackboard): ...THIS
  Teacher: Yes, THAT'S IT Anagha!!!

  Oh... THIS is sooo stupid... God bless her soul.

Paris Hilton was always the perfect choice for bashers ;)

Here are some evergreen dialogues by teachers......

• Silence!!! Is this a class or a fish market?
• If you want to talk you can go outside and talk.
• Tell me when all of you have finished talking. Only after that I'm continuing with the class.
  Finished???
• If you are not interested to listen, you can get out. I won't force you to sit here.
• If you don't like to study, then why do you come to school?
• Is this what your parents send you to school for?
  Are you here to waste your parents' money?
• Do you think teachers are fools?
• Don't try to act over smart.
• You, yes, you! I'm talking to you only. Don't look back.
  Do I have squint-eyes?
• Why didn't you do the homework? What did you do the whole day?
• I can't hear you.
  Didn't you have breakfast today?
• (When the teacher makes a mistake and the students identify it)
  I was just testing whether you guys are actually listening to the class. Good!
• When you're talking in class, you talk very loudly.
  When I ask a question, where does all this volume go?
• You always forget to take books to class. Why don't you ever forget to eat or sleep?
• This is the worst batch I've seen in my teaching career.